egad! this is bad! Contest winners from (ohmygodiva) June 25,

I hang my head in shame.


I totally forgot to post the contest results.

Thank goodness Tracy R. emailed me asking "wtf slacker fish, where are the results"**

** not the actual quote

So with no further delay, here are the results from the contest



Recognition for using one of my favorite phrases: "fell swoop"
Becky Mushko 9:02pm


recognition for knowing that everything is better with more cowbell
Sunny Insomniac 9:03pm




Recognition for including QueryShark which (like cowbell) makes everything better
Barry Evans 9:10pm




Recognition for giving me new ideas for dealing with recalcitrant writers
Eric 11:04pm




Recognition for giving me the great idea to rename The Lair "Club Swoop and Die"
abuckley23 5:29pm







These four entries were very good and made the first cut:

Terri Coop 9:02pm
thehappylogophile 6:06am
Kate Outhwaite 12:43pm
Jennifer Welborn 6:59pm




These two entries were VERY good and made the second cut:
wry wryter 10:21pm
Sasha Barin 12:44pm





These two stories are the finalists:


Kate Higgins 9:22am

The old sideboard was painted with stories. Minutely detailed life marched up drawers and across shelves. A tiny war folded around the doors, a carefully wrought conspiracy hid in the corners and a love affair gone wrong erupted over the intricately carved headpiece. Rendered mostly in browns and greens, a fragile swoop of red would brightly proclaim a birth…or a death.


This furniture was too precious to sell, too detailed to interpret, too disturbing to keep as is.
I dipped my brush in generic beige and reluctantly began to extinguish 87 years of lyrical angst.



Ted Bergeron 2:03pm

"Lyrical," says Robin.

"Brilliant. Bravo," says Beaver but he doesn't mean it. Grinding his teeth - sure sign of angst.

"A reluctant superstar you are," says Fox.

They're kissing my ass. I know it. I lick my paw and drag it across my brow. Howling tussles my fur.

It's a conspiracy. I know that too. But why?

A sob from behind Beaver. Shit. An intervention.

"I'm not coughing him up. Swoop in here like a bunch of do-gooders. I ate him because I have a self-esteem problem? He was good. That's why I ate him. Tasty."

Silence. That's it then. Shit.



Picking winners in these contests is always hard.  This time was not an exception. Both entries are terrific, but Kate Higgins takes the laurels. 

Congratulations Kate. Send me your mailing address and we'll send you a prize.

And yes, you all got the word connection relationship.  I was surprised how fast you managed to do that! Next time I'm really going to have to be much more crafty about the connection.