This is good advice

Because it's true.

The difference between the writers who make it and ones who don't is often not measured by the quality of their writing.

The News about Gothic is so sad***

 ***the clue for the meaning of the title is in the table; do you see it?

Ruthlessly lifted from these guys after 

a link on twitter from @mwtavani 

(thanks!!)

Thursday 3/31, come hear The Ulitmate Florida Challenge Winner!

Warren Richey kayaked around the entire state of Florida.

His story is terrifying and hilarious.  Come hear him talk about it at  6:30 p.m. Thursday, 3/31, at the Blake Library, 2351 S.E. Monterey Road in Stuart, Florida.

If you're not near Stuart, Florida on Thursday, you can always buy the book!

Thinking about applying for a writing job?

I think this sounds awesome!

The best writing advice of the week month.

Read this blog post by Alison Janssen on 10 Things You Can Do To Make Your Editor Love You.

Print it out.

Memorize it.

Implement it.

Repeat as needed.

Crowbar has been applied...I'm leaving NYC for a week!

Trish McEvoy Says Hello to Spring with Love

Here's a collection sure to pull at your heartstrings, if for no other reason then because it sounds so completely divine.  Trish McEvoy's new limited edition Love Fragrance Collection is sure to leave a touch of sweetness in the air, on your skin, and yes, even on your lips!

Love will envelop you in the delicate fragrance of No. 9 Blackberry & Vanilla Musk Eau de Parfum and Super Enriched Body Cream while the Wild Blueberry Vanilla Candle burns gently to soothe your soul. My senses are already desperate to experience these pieces. Add to that the Seduction Flawless Lip Color as the finishing touch of beauty and elegance to complete a romantic aura leaving those who adorn completely irresistible. Sweet, sensual, and undeniably one of the most loving collections of beauty a woman can get her hands on this spring, the Love Fragrance Collection is a the perfect assortment of pleasure. Would make a perfect Mother's Day gift, n'est pas?

Trish McEvoy’s The Love Fragrance Collection, set to retail at $90, will be available beginning April 18th at TrishMcEvoy.com. Can't wait!

Haven't Tried Lancôme’s Génifique Yet? What Are You Waiting For?

Génifique has been a runaway hit since its launch in 2009—and with good reason. The lightweight concentrate melts onto skin, wears beautifully under makeup, works on every age and skin type and most importantly, delivers visibly radiant skin in just seven days. Since trying this product when it first debuted, I'm never without a bottle.  Yes, it's just that good!

And here's your opportunity to try this amazing concentrate absolutely free. All throughout March, Lancôme will be offering deluxe, seven-day samples via their Facebook page. Here’s how it works:

1) Visit www.facebook.com/lancome

2) Not a fan yet? Then click “like” and you’ll be directed to the Génifique experience and offered a coupon for the deluxe sample. Already a fan? Then click directly on the Génifique tab on the left to get started. You can redeem the printed coupon at any Lancôme counter in the U.S.

3) Now for the fun part! After entering your info, you’ll be invited to compliment a friend. Your friend gets a feel-good message on their Facebook news feed, anything from “you’re gorgeous!” to “you’re an amazing sister!”, and gets her own deluxe seven-day supply of Génifique

Soooooo ..... what you waiting for? Not much time left in March. Get clickin'!   :~ D

Tibi x Bobbi Brown Collaborate for a Fab Giveaway

Could there BE a better giveaway to announce the arrival of Spring? Me thinks not.  Just look at this prize giveaway, with spring's hot shades and patterns brimming from every which way you look.  I am drooling at the thought of winning.  And though I considered not sharing as the less of you who enter, the better my own chances of winning, I just couldn't keep it in.

So here are the deets.  The winner will receive a custom, one-of-a-kind Tibi Peony & Python dress AND all pieces from the Bobbi Brown makeup collection including the eyeshadow palette, beauty case, blush, lipgloss, eyeliner and brushes. Sweet!

To enter:

1) Like Tibi and Bobbi Brown on Facebook

2) Follow Tibi on Bloglovin

3) Follow @TibiPR and @askBobbiBrown on Twitter

4) Tweet "I just entered the Tibi / Bobbi Brown contest" (the more you do, the more entries you get)

5) Send facebook@Tibi.com your email address and which of the above you have done

Must enter by March 30th and the winner will be announced Thursday, March 31, 2011. 

You can learn more about the Tibi Peony & Python collection here and Bobbi Brown's gorgeous Peony & Python collection here.  Enjoy!

DIY Cucumber Mint Spa Water

Here's a fab little do-it-yourself treat that does the body good - literally.  This particular recipe earned lots of praise with the rise in popularity of the Flat Belly Diet in 2008 as "Sassy Water".  For those who don't like the taste of plain old water, this may just change your mind about making water drinking a pleasurable, refreshing activity.

Ingredients:

2 liters water (about 8 1/2 cups)

1 teaspoon freshly grated ginger

1 medium cucumber peeled and thinly sliced

1 medium lemon thinly sliced

12 small spearmint leaves

Directions:

Mix all the ingredients together in a pitcher

Refrigerate overnight

Strain water

Enjoy over ice cubes

Add mint sprig for garnish (optional)

Cynthia Sass

Cynthia Sass, MPH, MA, RD, former Nutrition Director for Prevention, created the recipe for Sassy Water while developing the Flat Belly Diet with Lisa Vaccariello. Here's a bit more about how these ingredients break down in goodness.

Ginger contains high concentrations of antioxidants and helps soothe the intestinal tract and digestion.  Benefits of ginger come from very potent anti-inflammatory compounds called gingerols. These substances can help relieve swelling and inflammation, and are also know to aid in reducing nausea.  Gingerols also said to help reduce pain caused by muscle aches, headaches and rheumatism.  Ginger is a good source of potassium, magnesium, copper, manganese and vitamin B6.  Because it's so concentrated, it doesn't take a lot to receive the health benefits.  As an immune booster, ginger may not only be warming on a cold day, but can help promote healthy sweating. A good sweat may can assist in detoxification.  Some studies suggest ginger may even actually help inhibit growth of cancer cells.

Cucumber flesh is primarily composed of water but also contains ascorbic acid (vitamin C) and caffeic acid, both of which help soothe skin irritations and reduce swelling. Cucumbers are rich in fiber and contain a variety of beneficial minerals including silica, potassium and magnesium. Cucumber juice is often recommended as a source of silica to improve the complexion and health of the skin, plus cucumber's high water content makes it naturally hydrating—a must for glowing skin. Cucumbers are also used topically for various types of skin problems, including swelling under the eyes and sunburn. Two compounds in cucumbers, ascorbic acid and caffeic acid, prevent water retention, which may explain why cucumbers applied topically are often helpful for swollen eyes, burns and dermatitis.


Like many of the fruits and vegetables featured on our website, lemons and limes contain unique flavonoid compounds that have antioxidant and anti-cancer properties. In addition to their unique phytonutrient properties, lemons are an excellent source of vitamin C, one of the most important antioxidants in nature. Vitamin C is one of the main antioxidants found in food and the primary water-soluble antioxidant in the body. Vitamin C travels through the body neutralizing free radicals. Free radicals can interact with the healthy cells of the body, damaging them and their membranes, and also cause a lot of inflammation, or painful swelling, in the body. This is one of the reasons that vitamin C has been shown to be helpful for reducing some of the symptoms of osteoarthritis and rheumatoid arthritis.  As with other fruits of its kind, lemons are said to help reduce risk of cancer, heart disease and stroke.  Lemon is also a diuretic. This means it is good for people with urinary tract infections and high uric acid problems, such as those with arthritis or rheumatism because it helps flush out all the toxins and bad bacteria.

Spearmint is a pleasantly aromatic herb packed with numerous health benefiting vitamins, antioxidants and phyto-nutrients. The chief essential oil in spearmint is menthol. Other important chemical components of spearmint are α-pinene, β-pinene, carvone, cineole, linalool, limonene, myrcene and caryophyllene. These compounds in mint help relieve fatigue and stress.  The herb parts are also very good in minerals like potassium, calcium, manganese, iron, and magnesium. Iron is required for enzymes in cellular metabolism and synthesis of hemoglobin. Potassium in an important component of cell and body fluids that helps control heart rate and blood pressure. It is also rich in many antioxidant vitamins including vitamin A, beta carotene, vitamin C, folates, vitamin B-6, riboflavin and thiamin. Spearmint is said to be an excellent remedy for minor ailments such as headaches, nervous strain, fatigue and stress, as well as for the respiratory problems; helping with asthma and bronchitis. It is thought to aid with digestive problems including nausea, flatulence and hiccups as it relaxes the stomach muscles.


Ok, more information than perhaps you needed to know when contemplating the concocting of an at-home spa drink, but as the ingredients are far more powerful than a casual nod would suggest I decided to give you the whole kit and kaboodle on it.

Enjoy!

sources: world's healthiest foods, livestrong, glo, Cynthia Sass, nutrition and you

SERIOUS error on BACKSPACE contest

And it's on me. I just realized I made a mistake on the last entries. I thought they had to be received by 3/15. In fact the rules clearly say postmarked by 3/15.  Bad shark.

IF you get your SASE back with a note saying you were disqualified, RESEND.
Include the note you got so we can be sure you are in that group.


I'm VERY sorry for the consternation.

Three chomps of the shark jaw for me.

Questions?  Email me.

Stila Amazing Free Gift Event Today Only on Bloom!

Secret Saturday free gift event by Bloom Circle is from Stila today and it's a doozy of a goodun!  Just stopping by to share the goodness real quickly as couldn't keep this one all to myself.  It's the Stila Red Carpet Limited Edition Palette, which contains six gorgeous Stila eyeshadows, a shimmer powder, cheek color and lip glaze plus seven extra Stila Lip Glazes - FREE - with any purchase of $70 or more at Bloom Circle.

Bloom Circle offers fabulous products from our favorite beauty brands including CARGO, Clarisonic, Jane Iredale, Ole Henriksen, Kinerase, Redken, REN Skincare (Wow! really? fabulous!), Sircuit Cosmeceuticals, Tigi, Stila and many more! You'll be blown away by what they offer and how discounted the pricing is.  It's an idea that's catching on very quickly.

You must be a Bloom Circle member to take advantage of their special pricing and free gift offers, however membership is completely free and includes vouchers for future purchases. (How can you lose?) I love this place.  Is a beauty lovers paradise.

Click here for Bloom Circle

Stila Free Gift ($178 value) Code: sti319

Offer ends Sunday, 3/20/11 or while supplies last.

(They go quickly so don't dawdle)

ahh, those shots to the foot, are they painful?

We've been working on answering queries here in the Lair.

Today we got this reply to the form letter we send not requesting pages:


Not a problem. thanks for getting back to me, no hard feelings but you probably will regret your decision.


The hard truth is, even if you own the NYT Bestseller list tomorrow,  I won't remember you. And I won't remember you because you didn't tell me what the book was about.

"Story" doesn't tell me if it's fiction or non-fiction.

No plot. No characters. No choices. No stakes. ...ok, maybe this isn't a novel.

No description of a problem and a solution. No mention of platform.  Hard to see if this is non-fiction.

Even if it was a topic I cared about passionately, this would get a form rejection.


You absolutely positively must  tell me what the book is about.

why Jeff isn't out bribing people for votes, I do not know

Perhaps because he's busy writing or something.

The things I must do for that man.

Here; a book bracketing contest.  Vote for Jeff Somers. I dare you.

REVIEW: A Beautiful Life's Honey'do Shampoo & Conditioner

Are these adorable or what?

Award-winning boutique A Beautiful Life has launched a unique line of organic honey infused haircare.  Honey'do Shampoo and Honey'do Conditioner are sweet treats for the hair, imparting fantastic hydration, shine and manageability. 

The shampoo is sulfate and paraben free, so it doesn't lather immensely, which we all know by now is actually a good thing for hair!  It does, however, gently cleanse hair without stripping and its light formula smells subtly of tangerine - an ABL signature (their iconic All Nighter Hair Powder smells of tangerine loveliness as well).  The conditioner is thick in its honey bear bottle yet surprisingly light in texture.  It may be used as an instant conditioner or leave on a little longer for a deeply hydrating treatment.  I recommend turning the little honey bear conditioner upside down in the shower when storing as the conditioner will dispense easier.  I love how gentle these formulas are on my hair and how soft and shiny it leaves it.  As with most products I bring home that are worth their weight in gold, my daughter has "stolen" these gems for her own use. I've taken to have to hide them in my room (shhhhh!). Whatcha gonna do ...

Listen to some of the extracts in this 'poo/conditioner combo: ivy extract, rosemary extract, tangerine essential oil.  Both products are formulated with organic honey, which is what imparts moisture, shine, softness and manageability to even very dry hair.

These light formulas are a pleasure to use, sweetly sensory with their tangerine essence and a complete delight for hair.  Tony and Jennifer have hit it on the mark yet again.  Is there anything this power couple in beauty chicness can't do?

Honey'do Shampoo and Honey'do Conditioner retail for $16 each ($30 for the duo) and are both available exclusively through A Beautiful Life.  Check them out ... you'll be amazed at all the fun, gorgeous items this trendy boutique offers!

Why there are poets

I received very sad news today that the wife of my oldest client died this morning. Mrs. Gilbert lived a long and happy life, filled with people who loved her very much. I include myself in that number although I knew her only in this last decade.

Mrs. Gilbert was a lady in the best meaning of the word.  She was stylish and smart.  She had a wicked sense of humor and a glint in her eye, particularly when I talked to Mr. Gilbert, Richard, my client.  Richard Gilbert is a man of Madison Avenue. Never met a problem without a solution, exuded optimism at every turn, gung-ho to the max.  "Now Richard, listen to Janet" was the phrase I came to depend on during the editing of Richard's book MARCHING UP MADISON AVENUE.


Mr. and Mrs Gilbert met me when I was a wet behind the ears agent. They took me to lunch in places I could never hope to afford on my own back then.  They believed in me although there was no logical reason to do so.  When I signed Richard, I'd sold one book.  But that was how they were. They took their measure of you, and trusted you to do right by them.  I'm one of hundreds of people who count Richard Gilbert as the first person to give them a professional chance.

And, I did sell the book.  And we did celebrate.  But I knew the clock was ticking. No one lives forever.  When the call came this morning I knew instantly what the bad news was.



The only thing that says exactly what I feel right now is Jane Kenyon's marvelous poem:

Happiness

There's just no accounting for happiness,
or the way it turns up like a prodigal
who comes back to the dust at your feet
having squandered a fortune far away.
And how can you not forgive?

You make a feast in honor of what
was lost, and take from its place the finest
garment, which you saved for an occasion
you could not imagine, and you weep night and day
to know that you were not abandoned,
that happiness saved its most extreme form
for you alone.


No, happiness is the uncle you never
knew about, who flies a single-engine plane
onto the grassy landing strip, hitchhikes
into town, and inquires at every door
until he finds you asleep midafternoon
as you so often are during the unmerciful
hours of your despair.


It comes to the monk in his cell.
It comes to the woman sweeping the street
with a birch broom, to the child
whose mother has passed out from drink.
It comes to the lover, to the dog chewing
a sock, to the pusher, to the basket maker,
and to the clerk stacking cans of carrots
in the night.


It even comes to the boulder
in the perpetual shade of pine barrens,
to rain falling on the open sea,
to the wineglass, weary of holding wine.

I am very sad Mrs. Gilbert has left us; but the sadness is tempered by how grateful I am to have known her and counted her as a friend, and ally.

For the entryway to The Reef!

thanks to Gary Corby, I found this.  I may take up a collection to fund the purchase! Don't you think it would set exactly the right tone for The Reef?  Better yet, I could bring it to writing conferences!

Or wait...this could be the Best Christmas Present EVAH for my most slithery colleague of all: Barbara Poelle!

Lists of agents

There are lots of ways to find agents.  In my case, stand on a street corner near Penn Station, pop open a bottle of Macallan 12 and you won't need to wait long.

In the case of other more sober and circumspect of my ilk, there are resources like AgentQuery.com, AbsoluteWrite.com and the annual published editions of Guide to Literary Agents and a myriad of other, lesser known sites as well.

Not all of them are created equal.

If you use any of those sites, check to see if there's a way agents can update their info, or give feedback to the site manager. 

I've found a lot of sites that purport to list essential info about agents that have my details including sales and what I'm looking for, just plain wrong.  I'd send them an email to fix it, but there's no way to do so.


And when I get a query that references one of those sites, I know I'm looking at a query from someone who didn't do much research.

Research can be over-rated. There's no way to make a list that won't have a bad fit or two or ten on it. The trick is to realize  research means checking more than one site, starting with the ones that are most up to date, and most readily correctable.

My list of where to start: AgentQuery.com; QueryTracker.net, AbsoluteWrite.com, PublishersMarketplace.com

If you've got others, list them in the comment column, and I'll be glad to check them out.

BACKSPACE query contest update!

Sadly, we had our second disqualification. No contact info on the sent material.  I have a feeling the query got left out of the packet but with no email address in the footers, there was no way to find out.

The contest is now closed.
We've sent the last of the SASEs back in today's mail.

If you entered, and have not heard back from us by 3/21, email me and ask if we have it.

If we don't have it, you can't send a replacement.  (Sorry)

If we do have it, we'll let you know.

Winners will be announced the first week of April.

Yet another reason I ♥ NYC

I cleaned my desk this weekend.

The shark is VERY happy!

We ALL want you!

Dealing with multiple offers of representation sounds like a dream come true, right? Except, how do you choose?

There've been some good posts on this topic recently, from BookEnds LLC here, and from Jodi Meadows here

What neither post mentions however is one of the questions you absolutely MUST ask, and will have an impact on your decision: how long are they offering to represent you? Is it for life (as in, there's no automatic end date, but there is a termination clause if either of you want out) or is it for a year, or is it for just this project?

You'll want to know that going in.  There's no one right answer. It depends on your project and your professional goals.  Mostly I sign people intending to be their agent for the rest of their career. Other agencies sign clients for a year, or for just a single project (particularly for non-fiction.)

This is not something you want to find out the hard way. Ask ahead of time.

It took awhile, but here are the 2/22/11 contest winners

Honestly, I've never laughed so hard reading the entries in a writing contest as I did this one.  You all really outdid yourselves!

Without further ado, here's the rundown:



These lines just cracked me up:

Alwayscoffee 8:55pm

I also have a hyphen addiction

Alywn 9:01pm

do you have a rich husband or something? (Because I do, and he tells me I’m brilliant!)

Tally 9:16pm

Internet Publishing and Self Publishing is going to eat you ass-holes for lunch (they’re the protagonists of the novel.)

Lynn(e) 9:27pm

internet publishing and self-publishing is going to eat you ass-holes for lunch (but with my help, I can protect your asshole, I have magical ass protecting powers).

Domain 10:10pm

Jesus Christ (was my agent for years, but he took me for every penny, so) do you have a rich husband or something? (Do you think he’d like me?)

Summer 10:55pm

but you just sit there and keep rejecting writing that you haven't even read(so that it won’t distract you from your new role as Supreme Empress of the Written Word, Foreign and Audio included.)

Cheryl 11:56pm

Swim carefully, chum, ‘cuz from where I’m skulking the industry’s looking to order shark-fin soup.

kzukus 12:15am

Jesus Christ (even promised to blurb my book; at least that’s what the grilled cheese sandwich with his picture on it told me.)

Sarah 1:31am

I don't see how you make an income but then, I'm not a CPA with X-Ray vision- I'm just a cannibal with a keyboard… and a dream.  

Steve Forti 10:58am

my finest work since graduating from dynamite academy

Catherine 7:23pm

Ellipses are sooooo last week. Don't you think??? 

Several of you employed the Zombie Motif:

Dawn Embers 9:39pm

Rona 10:06pm

Katherine Hazen 11:15pm

Amber Argyle 12:02pm

One of you reached for The Bard for inspiration:

Shtrum 10:43pm

What's more inspiring than Aliens, and John Cusack!

Girl Friday 1:43am

Homage to The Shark, and the Mer-Bear

Marybk 3:29pm

Here are the entries that rose to the top:

Megan K. Bickel 9:13pm

p.s.- your industry is dying (because no other writer knows how to use the ellipse as art - like I do) you have already seen the implosion of Border's (because they have nothing but an apostrophe in their name) and B&N is not far behind (because they have only have that sad ampersand) internet publishing and self-publishing is going to eat you ass-holes for lunch (because editors don’t get in the way of grammatical creativity there) but you just sit there and keep rejecting writing that you haven't even read (because you claim “eye strain brought about by ellipse overload”). Jesus Christ (often spoke of the need for grammatical forgiveness). do you have a rich husband or something?(because I need a financier for my School..,. of,…. English,,….Writing,….and Tirades) and I don't see how you make an income (so you may want to sign up to be my first student).

Deadly Accurate 9:32pm

p.s.- your industry is dying (to see who drinks more, you or Barbara Poelle). you have already seen the implosion of Border's (co-op displays after a new Somers book is released,) and B&N is not far behind (you. You might want to file a restraining order.) internet publishing and self-publishing is going to eat you ass-holes for lunch (which will go straight to its hips), but you just sit there and keep rejecting writing that you haven't even read (by the late, great) Jesus Christ (and you better pray lightning doesn't strike you down.) do you have a rich husband or something? (And does he need a valet)? I don't see how you make an income (that exceeds your scotch intake).

A.S. 10:56pm

p.s.- your industry is dying for some great erotic fiction. Border Jones is a self-published author who misfiled her tax return. B&N Smith is the hunky IRS auditor. By the time you finish reading AUDIT ME, BABY you have already seen the implosion of Border's quivering love-button in a throbbing, mind-blowing orgasm, and B&N is not far behind – like all great heroes, he believes the lady should go first. When Border's best friend Amazon comes over during the audit, B&N tells them, "Ladies, the hottest auditor of internet publishing and self-publishing is going to eat you ass-holes for lunch, if you're into that." Snookums, I know you're impatient to get home and finish reading this, in the bath, with your special showerhead, but you just sit there and keep rejecting writing that you haven't even read, knowing that when you get home you're going to be shouting "Oh God! Jesus Christ! Show me your assets!" Do you have a rich husband or something more mechanical? Either way, you'll arrive at work with a smile tomorrow! If you're thinking, "I don't see how you make an income tax accountant look sexy," read AUDIT ME, BABY and find out!

Michael G-G 12:08am

p.s. This is what I proclaimed to fortify the spirits of my Gospel writers in this agnostic age: Your industry is dying to laud and honor you for your work bringing good news to the poor and setting captives free. You have already seen the implosion of Border's (sp?) between Judea and Egypt, and B&N is not far behind, (my code name for Herod, “Bellicose & Nuts”). Even if wiseacres claim that, two thousand years from now, something called internet publishing and self-publishing is going to eat you ass-holes for lunch, (pardon my French), I advise you to retort, with my blessing: “But you just sit there and keep rejecting writing that you haven't even read, you biblical illiterates.” Moreover, many are the snakes, the Judases or Dan Browns, who would put words into the mouth of our beloved son Jesus Christ, having him ask Magdalene “do you have a rich husband or something? Girlfriend, I don't see how you make an income spilling oil all over the place and wiping guys’ feet with your hair.”

What folderol. That’s why I created editors and red pencils.

Blessings to all four of you,

The Maker of All Things, Visible and Invisible

Jared X 12:28am

p.s.- your industry is dying/ (and there can be no denying)/ you have already seen the implosion of Border's/ (too expensive were their bricks and mortars)/ and B&N is not far behind/ (to close more stores they'll be inclined)/ internet publishing and self-publishing is going to eat you ass-holes for lunch/ (and who of us rejected writers won't laugh a bunch?)/ but you just sit there and keep rejecting writing that you haven't even read/ (perhaps you'll reconsider my novel instead/even) Jesus Christ (would've been enticed)/ do you have a rich husband or something/(and might he be Stephen King?!)/ I don't see how you make an income (rejecting great novels when just the query's dumb/ Your rejection of my work was quite obtuse/ Warmest Regards, Dr. Seuss.....)

I purposely did not ask for the entries in story form. Honestly I didn't think it was possible to write a story from these particular prompts.  Oh boy was I wrong:

Special recognition for Outstanding Achievement Using Narrative:

Papillon crew 1:23pm

“P.S. Your industry is dying.” Helen shook her head. “I know you have already seen the implosion.”
“Of Border's Ranch?” I asked, squinting at the choppy picture of Helen on the screen.
“And B&N is not far behind.”
“Well, roping cattle isn’t what it was, but Buckwheat & Nancy treats their people like shit.” No excuse for that.
“...internet publishing and self-publishing.”
“Helen, turn that damn radio off. This Skype crap is bad enough already.”
“...is going to eat you ass-holes for lunch,” she finished, glaring.
“Watch your mouth, young lady.” Why my daughter had to harass an old cowboy was beyond me.
“But you just sit there and keep rejecting writing that you haven't even read!” Helen clenched her fists.
“Jesus Christ, Helen.” I peered at her. “I’m not going to read those old man articles.” Grinning assholes in turtlenecks and recliners.
“Dad, please. David says...”
“Oh, do you have a rich husband or something?” I asked. She inhaled deeply. Helen hated when I brought up David. That smooth-handed bastard.
“Dad,” she said quietly, “I worry about you. I don't see how you make an income.”
“Oh, honey,” I said. “What’s this bullshit? ‘Make an income.’ Kiddo, I live.”

 Special recognition for Outstanding Achievement Using Narrative:

Shaunna 8:04pm

"Your industry is dying," Vanymeir says, wiping his bloody sword on the grass and sheathing it again. "You have already seen the implosion of Border's."
"Who's that?" Lisander asks. "That gutter town thirty leagues to the east?"
Vanymeir nods. "And B&N is not far behind."
"Bristol and Navarre?" Lisanders sighs and scratches his head. "You know what Falerall said, right? 'Internet publishing and self-publishing is going to eat you ass-holes for lunch.' Any idea what that means?"
"He's crazy, that's what it means." Vanymeir looks Lisander in the eye. "You're a scribe. You could do something about it while you have the chance, but you just sit there and keep rejecting writing that you haven't even read."
"There's no way that text was an accurate biography of Jesus Christ!"
"So? Do you have a rich husband or something?" Vanymeir laughs mirthlessly and shakes his head. "I don't see how you make an income."
"I have a standard to uphold. Everyone keeps talking about some German guy with a machine that can write words, but how will that machine know what words are worth writing?"
Vanymeir squints at the hillside. "If it's not one monster it's another. I'm just glad I have a sword."

Special recognition for Outstanding Achievement Using Lyrics:

Jesse 1:46pm

Your White Knight
A “query” sung by Randy Newman


Your industry is dyin’, you know that I’m not lyin’,

You’ve already seen the implosion(,) Border's is erodin’

and B&N isn’t* far behind-

Not that I needed to remind…

Now Listen Janet,

I know you have a hunch,
That, internet and self-publishing is going to eat you* for lunch,

I don’t want to go from A to Zed,
but you* keep rejecting writing that you haven't even read-

Who do you think you are, Jesus Christ?
Sorry, that wasn’t nice,

But, do you have a rich husband or something, baby?
Or, are you looking, maybe?

‘Cause, I don't see how you make an income,
without me,
I’m the next Grisham-

(refrain)

Now honestly, how the HECK do you expect me to pick the winner from these three entries?  

Short of rock, paper, scissors there's only one solution: all three win.

Jesse, Shaunna and Papillon crew, send me your mailing address and what kinds of books you like to read  and we'll scour the shelves for a good prize to reward your amazing entries.

Truly, you ALL were hilarious, and it really does help give us perspective on the crapola when we have some fun with it.

Thanks everyone for contributing!

Update on Backspace Query Letter Contest

Favorite salutation in the last batch: "Dear Snookums 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5,"


We've replied to everything we've received this week. Your SASE in the mail today.

Remember, the contest CLOSES on 3/15.
Entries received after that date are not eligible for consideration.
We'll return your SASE to you with that sad news if it arrives late.

All entries must be in writing, sent by mail.

Here are the details if you need them again.

Tucson Festival of Books This Weekend!

Check it out!

One of the featured authors is Ed de Steiguer author of WILD HORSES OF THE WEST

There's a terrific piece about the book here

You can pre-order his book here!

Let's talk about non-fiction query letters for a minute

I get a lot of queries for non-fiction; recently I've noticed you're giving in to temptation to list a series of problem, often in the form of rhetorical questions.

(We all know rhetorical questions are the kiss of death in a query right?)

I sense these query writers learned their pitching skills from late night television "What would you say if I could chop that tomato with a sword!"

(to which I'd say "I hope you're not planning to chop tomatoes in MY kitchen" but you get the point.)

Here's the thing about non-fiction; you need to pitch the SOLUTION right up front with the problem.  Your book is about the solution first and foremost, not the problem.

Your book is about why your solution is better, faster, smarter than anyone else's.

If you're pitching a book about writing query letters you might say:

This book demonstrates an effective way to write and revise queries so writers communicate what their books are about in clear concise language.

The problem is: you know you're writing a crappy query letter.
The solution is: I'm going to show you how to write and revise your way out of the crap heap.

How you phrase that first sentence in a query letter for any non-fiction book can be the difference between me scoffing (tomato/sword) and me being interested (book that solves a problem I see everyday)

Capisce?

Calling All Philosophy Girls: Gift Set SALE!

Select philosophy gift sets are on sale today, but for one day only!  If you're a philosophy girl (waves hands in air) now is a great time to stock up on some favorites or even stash a few kits away as gifts for impromptu occasions. See a kit that includes a product you're dying to try?  Grab it and gift away the products you don't want as little thank you's to friends and family.

Why?

Cuz 40% off these lovelies is a darn good deal!

Visit philosophy online, select your kits from the options shown and enter this special offer code at checkout: 40offgifts .  This special is for one day only, March 11th, or until supplies run out.  Enjoy!

I like to steal good advice from other bloggers and post it here

Planning on attending a writer's conference this year?
Good.
Conferences can be a rich source of knowledge, new friends, and renewed enthusiasm.


If you spend a lot of time planning your conference experience, make sure you plan for AFTER the conference, and most important What Not To Do After A Conference.

Chantecaille Spring 2011: Sea Turtle Palette and Tiger in the Wild (Revisited)

Enchanting! That's what comes to mind when I think of Chantecaille.  Once again, Olivia Chantecaille charms us with her delightful palettes that create experiences of both elegance and feeling good about the purchase. 

Universally flattering, the Sea Turtle Palette ($78) features two eye colors in Soft Pearl and Golden Brown, a deep Emerald liner and a pink cheek shade.  The formula is made with the highest quality pearl and pigment particles. The two eye shades reflect the golden warmth of new spring neutrals complimented by an on trend deep sea green eye defining shade. The perfect coral/pink cheek color offers a universally flattering flush of rosy warmth.

Click image to watch the Making of the Spring Look 2011 video

Chantecaille is partnering with Dr. Karen Eckert of the WIDECAST Organization, focused on saving sea turtles in North, South and Central America and the Caribbean. 5% of proceeds from this palette will help WIDECAST ensure the survival of sea turtles.

Tiger in the Wild ($78) was carefully selected to go with Fall Trends and includes eyeshades in Cream, Pewter and Indigo, as well as a flattering sheer persimmon cheek shade, however these shades are divinely perfect for this year's Spring as well. 

Click image to watch backstage beauty for Christopher Kane, London Fashion Week A/W 2011 using Tiger in the Wild Palette

To celebrate and raise awareness for the wild tiger, Chantecaille has created a limited-edition palette with a selection of easy-to-wear cheek and eye shades with an elegant tiger embossing.  While the world celebrates the Year of the Tiger, the plight of this majestic animal continues. In fact, this celebration of the tiger places it in a more perilous situation. Tigers are poached, hunted and exterminated for profit. 5% of the proceeds benefit TRAFFIC .


Chantecaille Sea Turtle Palette and Tiger in the Wild Palette are both available at Space.NK and Nordstrom.

CEW Eco Beauty Award: Sending Love to Two of My Faves

I spy with my little eye a couple of my very favorite eco-friendly skincare brands up for the 2011 CEW Eco Beauty Award and I couldn't be more thrilled for them. 

Pomega5's Healing Cream
I can't speak highly enough of Pomega5, their committment to quality, eco-friendly products and to providing their customers with a superb multi-sensory experience. Healing Cream is the star of the Pomega5 line as a gentle, nourishing moisturizer to comfort sensitive skin. This rich botanical recipe combines Omega 5 with soothing, restorative oils of carrot seed, calendula and grape seed to create an energetic shield to combat penetration of impurities, and a harmonious symphony of ingredients that nourish and "sing to the soul" (indeed it does). This cream also contains gorgeous shea butter. Formulated with 99% active ingredients and over 40% Omega oils, every element in this unique moisturizer works to improve the skin, inclusive of the botanical preservative and emulsification system.  You guys know I'm a sucker for pomegranate seed oil in skincare. It's all thanks to Pomega5 that this is so.  This cream contains pomegranate cold-pressed from the seeds within the juice-filled arils. It is rich in rare Omega 5 essential fatty acid.  It also proves to be a potent antioxidant and anti-inflammatory, promotes cell renewal, stimulates collagen production, protects against sun damage, reduces redness, and heals irritations. Sublime!

Amala Beauty's Rejuvenate Line
The Rejuvenate collection firms, smoothes lines and renews elasticity with Cocoa Bean, known for its unique ability to stimulate cell renewal and microcirculation.  It's all about the cocoa bean in Amala's Rejuvenate collection.  Their Rejuvenate Cleansing Milk washes away dirt, makeup and impurities while rejuvenating skin with this gentle, nourishing cleanser. The whole plant ingredients in the milky smooth formula help strengthen and smooth leaving skin healthy and even toned. Whole plant ingredients infuse their Rejuvenating Serum as well, including a powerful antioxidant trio of pure Vitamin C-rich Acerola, Sea Algae and Cocoa Bean. The serum naturally repairs skin while protecting it from environmental and free radical age damage.  And ... their certified organic Cocoa Bean is cultivated in the Huallaga region of Peru by an expert fair trade partner in the area.

Both Pomega5 and Amala offer absolutely beautiful, gorgeous skincare, that are as effective in use as they are soothing to the soul.  Highly recommend without hesitation!  Pomega5 products may be purchased directly through their website and soon you'll find them at Bliss Spa.  Amala Beauty may be found at Spirit Beauty Lounge, whose shopping experience is like buying nectar from the gods. Yes, it's that fabulous.

Enjoy!

Here's your chance to kick Severus Snape in the asterisk

Who hasn't wanted to put Snape in his place?
Here's your chance.

Plus you get to prove those Snapians over at DelRey completely and totally wrong. (They're betting against us!)  That's almost as satisfying as the thump of your boot on Snape's posterior.

Click here.  Commence kicking.

Vote Now: Total Beauty 2011 Reader's Choice Beauty Awards

Calling all beauty addicts and those with even a small penchant for beauty! Total Beauty's 2011 Reader's Choice Awards are now open for voting and they want to know your top choices.

Total Beauty has 62 categories of beauty products up for awards. And while their editors are testing products for the "Rising Star Editors' Picks" (selected from newer-to-the-market products), they're inviting you to name the "Readers' Choice" winners. As a bonus, you'll earn five points for EACH vote you cast. Points help you snag great product freebies, exclusive deals and more! Hurry -- voting ends April 1!

Vote Now: Total Beauty 2011 Reader's Choice Beauty Awards

"A Good Story Is A Sneaky Fucker"

and here's how I know that!

lifted shamelessly from my pal on Twitter @themattlondon

Yea!!!

HAUTELOOK: Stila on Sale!

Created in 1994 by a top celebrity makeup artist, Stila is known for its modern, sophisticated, non-intimidating approach to beauty. The brand's innovative, multi-tasking formulas, eco-friendly packaging, and fashion-forward colors have cemented its place on must-have lists of top beauty editors around the world. The prestige color brand is a regular on the pages of magazines like Allure and InStyle, and frequents the runways of top designers during New York fashion week. Stila's goal is to help every woman celebrate her own unique beauty; to look and feel like the best version of herself; and to have fun doing it.

This has been a much beloved brand of mine for years.  My favorite of all eyeliners, Stila Smudgesticks, are always is my makeup bag, a drawer or two at the office and in my handbag. Of course their Kitten eyeshadow is iconic and blends beautifully on the lid, flattering all eye colors. Loooove 'em!

Enjoy the Stila sale today at Hautelook beginning at 8 am PT.  Click the link below to sign up (membership is FREE) and buy your goodies!

Take me to Hautelook

SkincareRx Beauty Caches Are Back

Oh my gosh what an incredible deal!  'Tis just one of many reasons why I love SkincareRx. They've just launched their first of four Limited Edition Beauty Caches. If you are unfamiliar with the SkincareRx Beauty Cache it is a bag with 1-2 full size products and 8-10 deluxe size products (usually a few weeks worth of product). The cache also comes complete with a $20 gift card to use on your next purchase (over $75). This gives all we beauty lovers the ability to try the high end skincare products to see if it works for our skin before we commit to the higher price of the full-size products.  I love these little opportunities!

The bag has a very limited supply and will sell out fast. You may opt to Enroll for Auto Ship of the bag, which guarantees you’ll receive every new Beauty Cache the moment they’re available.
This chic cosmetic bag is perfect for carrying your must-have beauty products with you wherever you go. It includes a variety of cosmetics, hand and body care, and treatments for aging, acne-prone, and sensitive skin. The contents of each cache will vary, however you can check here for all the details about what to expect. You can also check the reviews on the caches as they are 4 and 5 stars just about across the board.

The Beauty Caches are offered at $29.95 and may purchased through SkincareRx. Enjoy!

Katy Perry Announced as New Face of ghd

photo: metrolyrics

World leading professional hair styling brand ghd announced today the signing of music sensation Katy Perry as the new face of the brand. The association will kick off over the next few months with an exciting new multimedia global brand campaign recently shot by world renowned photographer David La Chapelle.

"Katy is the epitome of modern fashion and styling. Her unique, ever changing looks are the envy of style devotees around the world. Katy completely embodies ghd’s spirit of female transformation and empowerment, as she is recognised as a cutting edge style icon unafraid to push fashion and beauty boundaries. Sassy, stylish and sexy, Katy is the perfect partner for ghd,” says Paul Stoneham, Chief Executive Officer, ghd.

“I'm so excited to be working with ghd, especially using their tools on my California Dreams Tour to get me stage ready. ghd products have a reputation of being the best products in the biz, and I like being associated with that. I'm very excited to reveal the styles I did with legendary David LaChapelle in the upcoming ghd campaign. Keep your eyes peeled for it!” shares Perry in regards to the announcement.

Rounding out the partnership, ghd has signed to become an International Tour Sponsor for Perry’s forthcoming “California Dreams 2011” tour, and plans to involve its talented professional hair stylist ambassadors in concert-related events throughout the world.

ghd (Good Hair Day) is an iconic British, professionally endorsed hair styling brand, available only through exclusive premier salons, ghd and a few select retailers. ghd was awarded Best Hair Styler for the 8th year running at the InStyle Beauty Awards on February 1, 2011.
 

Be on the lookout for more news and media highlights about the Katy Perry x ghd collaboration soon to come.

Double Seven Nightclub Fetes Muse Magazine's Fabio Covi and Luigi Murenu

Jeffrey Jah, co-owner of New York nightclub The Double Seven, hosted a party for fashion magazine Muse Thursday, March 3rd at the Royal Monceau Hotel in the City of Lights. The nightclub aficionado organized the celebration in honor of Muse magazine's editor Fabio Covi and hair stylist Luigi Murenu to celebrate their 25th issue.

L-R: Guest, Ana Dello Russo, Luigi Murenu; Isabeli Fontana; Luigi Murenu and Natasha Poly

Fashion's top runway top models were all in attendance including Isabeli Fontana, Natasha Poly and Joan Smalls. We hear runway star Rie Rasmussen and a fetching of other catwalkers created quite the commotion when they began an impromptu photo shoot (sans tops) at the front door of the party. Kanye West’s muse, Italian fashionista Anna Dello Russo’s got quite the shock when she stopped by to kick off Paris Fashion Week.

Me? I just like the glitz and photos. Ha.

Lancome's March Special Offers

Lancome has the BEST gifts with purchase, sample kits and special offers of just about all prestige beauty brands.  Celebrating March, Lancome is offering FIVE (5) Full Size Lipsticks ($124 value) with your purchase of $35 or more! Click the link for offer and use code: MARCHBDAY at checkout. Offer ends March 31st.

Now interested in the lippies and want another March special offer instead? Receive a 3-Piece Sample Collection AND Free Shipping with any $35 purchase! Click the link and use code: MARSPECIAL at checkout for this special. Offer ends March 30th.

Or a 4-Piece Sample Collection AND Free Shipping with any $45 purchase! Click link and use code: AMARCH at checkout for this special. Offer ends March 31st.

And of course, you always enjoy free shipping at Lancome with your $50 or more purchases.  Enjoy spring, my loves! xo

Award Winning Pureology Hydrate + Giveaway

This makes my heart sing.  Pureology's Hydrate system is up for About.com's 2011 Readers' Choice Award for Best Shampoo.  Pureology's Hydrate Shampoo and Hydrate Conditioner have taken awards for years; among their top winnings Favorite Prestige Shampoo, Favorite Prestige Conditioner, Favorite Color Protecting Product and more through the hair industry's prestigious Behind the Chair Stylist Awards (2010). And, they're up for awards again this year!  It's also up for TotalBeauty's 2011 Beauty Awards for Best Shampoo.  Vote your pick here!

Readers have heard me extoll praise of Pureology as a prestige haircare brand and in particular their Hydrate products for years, so no surprise I voted for these lovelies in the open ballots.  Feels great to swim in the pool of fans, stylists especially, who also appreciate the fabulous-ness of this system.

As one who spends a fortune on color-treatment [all well worth it, Kirstin, (my stylist), not complaining], I am really thankful for a shampoo and conditioner that not only treats my hair well for moisturization and health but helps conserve the color.  Now that I'm a quasi-redhead (ok, with a few blonde highlights), I especially appreciate the color protection Pureology offers as red has a tendency to fade and lose integrity more quickly than other shades.
Visit Pureology.com to learn all about Hydrate and their other gorgeous lines of haircare products.  And for a chance to be one of five (5) winners to have this extraordinary system delivered straight to your doorstep, please enter the giveaway below courtesy of Pureology and For the Love of Beauty.

To enter the giveaway:

1) Follow Pureology and For the Love of Beauty (aka ftlob) on Twitter;
2) Like Pureology and For the Love of Beauty (Roxy Howe) on Facebook;
3) Finally, leave a comment below letting me know why you'd like to try Pureology Hydrate and include your email so I may contact the winners for shipping addresses.

That's it!  You may also view and enter directly as a Twitter follower under the tag #pureologylove. One set of Pureology Hydrate Shampoo and Hydrate Conditioner will be awarded to five lucky winners. Contest open to residents of USA only this time.  Will have more giveaways for my international friends soon, please visit again. xo

Researching what no longer exists!

Interesting blog post here today about how to do research for novels set in ancient Athens!

I'll be gawking at this tomorrow

I've walked past this corner at 34th and Broadway almost every workday for four years now, and never noticed that the corner isn't Macys!  It's an entirely different store!

Click here to see the whole story! The picture with the subway? That's the old Sixth Avenue El!