Always glad to improve!

A recent querier took me to task (nicely) for the rejection letter he received. It was "too nice;" he needed brutal lashings so he too could rail against the evil that is Publishing.

Always happy to oblige, I have found a template for my new rejection letter. Herewith:

(via Gothamist)

For my sight-impaired readers, herewith the text not as a picture:

You worthless, acid-sucking piece of illiterate shit! Don't ever send this kind of brain-damaged swill in here again. If I had the time, I'd come out there and drive a fucking wooden stake into your forehead.  Why don't you get a job, germ?  Maybe delivering advertising handouts door to door, or taking tickets for a wax museum.  You drab South Bend cocksuckers are all the same; like those dope-addled dingbats at the Rolling Stone office.  I'd like to kill those bastards for sending me your piece . . .  and I'd just as soon kill you, too.  Jam this morbid drivel up your ass where your readership will better appreciate it.

Sincerely

Yail Bloor III

Minister of Belles-Lettre

P.S. Keep up the good work. Have a nice day.